Assignment 1: A Self Portrait.

First assignment of the semester two and it’s already very soul-searchy-ish. This week’s work rather interesting. It’s basically about self-discovery, asking myself and searching for the most apt response to the question “what is it about you that most people do not know of?”. Sorry if I got that a bit muddled, I’d missed the briefing on the topic because of a sudden clashing of subjects. So hopefully I didn’t misunderstand the entire concept of this assignment and just made stupid of everything.

Got down to thinking, and the different ideas and colors and media just rolled around in my head. I have to say, it was pretty annoying trying to get them all down on paper. I settled on one thought that was intriguing enough to pursue. The idea of how.. alone I feel sometimes. It’s strange how it is understood that we are all one and alike and yet so vastly different. Yes, we can have pictures of skeletons and have a caption saying “underneath we are all the same”. It’s easy to see, and yes, warm fuzzy feelings reach your heart through sayings like that but it’s slightly more difficult to actually grasp and believe it.

My point is (yes. I do have a point.) that sometimes, despite the reassuring pictures and words, I do, in fact, feel very alone. It’s such a vulnerable period of time, when anything can trigger such a hollow and miserable feeling. It wraps all around me and I feel as though no one will understand, all I want to be is alone with only my thoughts. My mind grows numb and my heart is the heaviest.

At that moment I am completely aware of how completely isolated I am, like my being is consumed by a thin layer shielding me from the rest of the world. Then my phone buzzes and maybe it’s a notification from twitter, or whatsapp , a cute message from a friend and I’m okay again, and that quiet moment I feel goes away until it gets triggered again.